PeterIsSorry.com

I’m sorry that I didn’t think of this first.

I’ve identified the source of my backpack’s extremely unpleasant odor: a salad that I purchased on an airplane on August 21. I had to “let it go”.

Regarding my quest to have PeterIsSorry.com become the #1 result for the Google search query “putting feces on the face” (see posts “Google” and “On the face?!“):
PeterIsSorry.com has disappeared from the first page of results, but an indirect link to PeterIsSorry.com via Technorati has become the #2 search result!

Only one more spot to go.

EDIT: Another update: The hot dog count is now up to 36 hot dogs in 18 days. Pretty consistent (2 dogs/day). I’ve purchased some tofu hot dogs so that I don’t die. I may or may not have eaten 8 Pop Tarts in the last 24 hours, though—hmm.

I’m sorry that:

• I would like to have the #1 Google search ranking for the query “putting feces on the face” (If you are confused, please read this post.)
• the only reason for this apology is to increase my ranking for “putting feces on the face”

PeterIsSorry.com currently (Sept. 4, 2007) holds the top spot on the second page of search results. The #1 spot (on the first page) is held by this shocking article—from now on referred to as my nemesis—which informs us that some makeup may actually contain feces! An excerpt:

“We’re putting feces on our face,” professor Elizabeth Brooks said. “Not a fun thing to do.”

Well said, my nemesis. Well said.

EDIT: Good news, everyone!  PeterIsSorry.com is already up to #5!

Do you want to make everyone lose The Game all the time? Buy a PeterIsSorry.com “I lost” T-Shirt here.

“If you were driving cross-country, and were forced to bring a breakfast cereal mascot - who would it be?”

Sugar Bear—he has the best voice ever (and he sounds like the Bits & Bites guy).

Sorry for:

• winning all the video games that we play
• practicing the games when you’re not around so that I can win
• loving Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

Some weird singing by a little boy.

EDIT: It turns out it’s weird singing by a man who looks like a little boy.

• for making you lose the game countless times per day
• for spending money at Wendy’s and Tim Horton’s even though they get my order wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME and my delicious lemon drop donut is often melted to the inside of the bag that it comes in!

• constantly spraying everyone with saliva and various other fluids from my straws
• thinking that William Shatner is the coolest man alive
• trying to put my toes in your nose
• forcibly snuggling with your cat

• trying to spray you with windshield washer fluid and hit you with windshield wipers
• getting chocolate cheesecake all over your couch
• getting hot fajita oil in your eye
• driving your car over a cement barrier while traveling at a high speed
• laughing too hard about the cement barrier incident
• filling your car with garbage
• playing “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo: Early ’50s Recording” more often than is appropriate
• losing “The Game“