PeterIsSorry.com

I’m sorry that I buy all my Christmas gifts online just to avoid going (outside) to the store, and I’m also sorry that I pay $4-9 per gift to have them wrapped so that I don’t have to do it myself.

I’m sorry that I went digging through a bag of rancid garbage to find a used match so that I could light my stove and make a frozen pizza.

I’m sorry that Larry David is my idol.

I’m sorry that I was excited instead of concerned when I heard you were having a pus situation.

I’m sorry that I’ve been putting off sweeping my apartment for about two months just in case somebody decides to give me a robot vacuum (Roomba!).

I’m sorry that I ate 32 cookies worth of cookie dough in less than 24 hours.  I feel terrible.