PeterIsSorry.com

I’m sorry for so many things, including:

• accidently melting chocolate all over your car which has to be cleaned up by your mom
• participating in what will one day be known as the worst musical event of all time
• using your towels and toothbrush without permission
• turning your apartment into an abode more suitable for pigs than humans
• exploring my full vocal range within the limited confines of an automobile
• refusing to cut my toenails
• never washing my feet
• not cutting my fingernails often enough
• accidentally cutting your hand open at East Side Mario’s with my too-long fingernails
• dismantling your couch
• being too afraid of bugs and cat feces and vomit to clean them up
• leaving out sandwiches and allowing them to become maggot-infested (which you have to clean up)
• losing every pencil I ever “borrow” from you
• using shampoo to clean my entire body (although this might be the cause of my unusually soft skin)

I am sorry for being too shy to order for myself in a drive-through and then doing the following to you while you attempt to order for me:

• never knowing my order (and making you choose for me)
• not having any way of paying for my order
• tickling you
• biting you
• licking you
• other unsolicited contact

• sorry for pouring cat food on and around your cat
• sorry for “putting a sneeze” on your cat (so to speak)
• sorry for using your cat as a bib

• sorry for accidentally leaving a mark on your face for a week due to humourous suckage

• constantly spraying everyone with saliva and various other fluids from my straws
• thinking that William Shatner is the coolest man alive
• trying to put my toes in your nose
• forcibly snuggling with your cat

• trying to spray you with windshield washer fluid and hit you with windshield wipers
• getting chocolate cheesecake all over your couch
• getting hot fajita oil in your eye
• driving your car over a cement barrier while traveling at a high speed
• laughing too hard about the cement barrier incident
• filling your car with garbage
• playing “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo: Early ’50s Recording” more often than is appropriate
• losing “The Game“